Wednesday, January 3, 2007

Apartment Hunting

I'm going to make one last push this week to try to find an apartment or place to stay closer to Lafayette. If that doesn't pan out, I may ultimately be headed out towards the Krotz Springs area regardless of what anyone might thing about it. I have reason to believe that my wife will misinterpret it because she has already accused me once of driving by her place to spy on her (which I have not done). She based that on information I had about her spending time with her ex husband and being seen around town with him.

What she doesn't realize is that Krotz Springs is a small town and everyone talks. When I passed through town to pick up mail and gas up, I had more than one person eager to tell me what was going on. I don't even need to ask, people volunteer the information to me. Even the judge suggested that someone might have told me those things when Tara claimed my knowledge of them proved I was watching her. But it won't matter what I say, she will believe whatever she wants. And so I'm convinced that she'll believe the wrong things if I move out there. And if she wants to think I'm moving there just to annoy her, that will be her problem.

In either case, I'm going to make another push to find something more local to my job but I'm not real encouraged. Most apartments are telling me six months wait. Ever since Hurricane Katrina pushed hundreds of thousands of people out of New Orleans, there has been a housing shortage in Lafayette which is in South Central Louisiana.

I'm preparing myself for the next round of attacks from my wife as well. I was really hoping that our divorce could be peaceful. It's my fault though for starting off on the wrong path when we separated. She might have let things be peaceful if I had not so strongly reacted to her rejection of me and her immediate demands. But I've really calmed myself down and am determined not to react negatively when the next round of attacks hit. I wish that she could see that I don't want to fight and am trying my best not to react the way that I did when this mess started. I really wish she would just ask for whatever it is she wants instead of going about things this way, but I suppose that would just be too easy. So I'm preparing for the next wave of attacks.

I really did trust and believe Tara when she kept reminding me how easy she took it on her ex husband when they divorced. Why would I have expected her to be so bitter towards me. Tara claims that her ex husband, Chad William Stelly, cheated on her, I didn't do that. Tara claims Chad physically abused her, I didn't do that. Heck, law enforcement claims Chad solicited sex from a minor over the Internet and is prosecuting him for such, I haven't done that either. I did make plenty of mistakes in our marriage, in fact I blame myself almost entirely that our marriage broke down. But for whatever reason, I can't find an olive branch to offer to establish peace between us.

So I have to ready myself for a battle I don't want to fight.

Today, I'll be making calls to apartments again and I'm going to spend some time writing for my other blogs so I'm not sure what time my next update will be here. I again appreciate everyone who has been e-mailing me and encouraging me and appreciate everyone's interest in my story. Yesterday turned out to be another record day with 102 different people passing by in all. If you find this story interesting, please link to this blog from your site or blog.


Nicholas Cardot said...

hmmmm. I wish you the best.

ender said...

i'll keep my fingers crossed for you on finding a good apt that doesn't give her another reason for attacks and idiocy. :)

patience said...

I'm afraid that no matter what you do or where you go, she is going to decide that you have done this on purpose to hurt/humiliate/annoy/harass her. Somehow you need to build an emotional fence between the two of you that will keep her attacks out. If you want/need to live in Krotz Springs, then do it! Let it be her problem to move if she's that uncomfortable! You are no longer married! She has no right to tell you where you can or cannot live! To be on the safe side, keep a written record of your apartment hunting so that in case she decides to claim harassment, you have evidence that you have looked elsewhere but there just isn't any other reasonable place!

Make sure any contact you have with her, no matter how minor, is documented in the event she decides to use that against you.

I hope you find peace for you and your children.

vera said...

What an honest post. I wish you happiness. Maybe sit down with Tara and just ask her to start over. Get on better terms so the divorce can be smoother.

Easier said than done.

I guess the best advice is not to react. It won't be fun for her to erupt if she doesn't get a rise out of you. That usually calms me down wit my husband. If he doesnt respond negatively, I calm down.

good luck

Anonymous said...

why dont you just get on with your life.stop talking about your ex wife and her ex husband. sounds like you are a little jusly of him.

Samantha said...

I have been reading this blog for a while and I just had to comment on the last comment left by someone "anonymous"… without getting anything but one side of this story -his- through this blog, it just sounds bitter –to say the least- to tell someone to stop talking about his wife (no where in here says they're divorced for her to be referred to as 'ex-wife') and her ex-husband; throughout the blog, I find no notion of jealousy as this gentleman -her ex-husband- seems to have no traits that would make anyone particularly jealous of (cheater, suspect of sex offense?)... In case it was not read by the author of the comment, this is about the journey of someone going through a divorce. Perhaps our fellow reader that posted this comment is just on the wrong website and needs to go read elsewhere about happily-ever-after-ending stories. To the author of this blog, all I have to say is keep it up and continue to share your story with us readers that appreciate you opening a small window into your personal pain. I really hope things get better for you and hopefully you will soon be able to leave all these behind; your writing portraits to me a well educated, intelligent, caring and respectful man and there are many women out there who will better appreciate these traits, so know that you will do well... Best wishes to you and your children!