Tuesday, January 9, 2007

Emotional Roller Coaster

As anyone following the comments can tell, today was a very difficult day for me. As I described early in my blog, my emotions have had a tendency to vascillate. They go back and forth. For the last week or two, I was on top of the world, even celebrating being served divorce papers. For the last couple of days, I'm missing my step children and wishing I could find peace with my wife and feeling absolutely hopeless.

There have been a lot of critical comments as of late and I really appreciate that. It has given me a lot to reflect on and think about. The only problem is I find myself literally going insane trying to figure out if anyone has correctly guessed my wife's feelings or whether they are simply off the mark. I really wish I knew because if I was hurting my wife, that would matter to me. Of course I would expect it to matter to her that she is hurting me and my children as well. But I won't and can't know that and its time I stop trying to guess it.

I'm going to spend some time working on my other blogs. I'm not sure when my next post will come (could be hours or days or as long as is needed). Again, thank you to everyone who has posted comments and e-mailed me encouragement and even to those who have been critical. I really appreciate your concern with my situation.

6 comments:

Floyd said...

Thanks for stopping by my place, I put a link to you in my other great ones.

Patience said...

Sorry but no one can really guess what your wife is feeling, probably not even herself! If you think about the fact that your emotions and feelings run the gamut, she is probably dealing with the same things. Some women can build up an emotional wall stronger than any brick wall to keep someone out! That may be what has happened with her. That could be why you can't get open up any line of communication.

Peace to you.

Some Guy said...

Floyd, thanks for the link. I have added you to my blogroll links on the right.

Patience, thanks for stopping by and for the encouragement. My wife was really good at erecting walls. We talked to the counselor specifically about this the first time we went. The counselor tried to tell her how damaging that could be. I'm trying to just back off and give her some space. I was hoping that time would heal. But patience has been a difficult lesson for me to learn. I haven't attempted to contact her or otherwise since mid December. That is probably the hardest thing for me. I used to send her a text message every morning that said "Good Morning Beautiful" and I feel like I die each morning when I wake up and can't send her a quick note.

Sandy Carlson said...

I feel for you! My sister divorced a wonderful man and put two great kids smack in the middle, and it was awful until things settled somewhat and my nephews and daughter came to see they were loved, but that the nature of the adult relationships had changed. My b-i-l is a great guy, and I'm grateful to God for his friendship. There is a Light!

Ryan said...

Split ups are always hard, especially with kids involved. One thing you can't beat yourself up over, though, is trying to figure out her emotions, etc.

While it's good to have a general idea of another's feelings, trying to get a thorough grasp on the inner-workings of ANY woman's mind is bound to get you committed.

Hang in there, for this too shall pass...

DWD said...

You'll stabilize just thing positive. Plus thxs for the posts to my blog!

Cheers in the new year of 2007'