Tuesday, January 9, 2007

From My Dear Friend From Work

After reading through the comments to the post on January 8, 2007, my dear friend at work wanted to offer some words to my readers:

To everyone here, I happen to know both Tara and the author or this blog, as I worked with both of them. I have a very close friendship with "Some Guy" and though my interactions with Tara were very seldom; I have to say that both of them were highly respected at our place of work, as they both are wonderful people.

I really feel my very dear friend “Some Guy” is currently going through a roller coaster of emotions that are very normal to someone undergoing the process of separation, in which you range from anger to sadness; from missing to hating and vice versa; which if you’ve read the entire journey becomes very obvious as you go through the different posts.

I have to say that I am proud beyond words of the way he is handling the situation, because as sad as it is for him, he is really trying to push himself forward and move on.

About him I have to say that he is a great guy; a loyal friend; a loving and caring father who is as proud as one can be of his 3 precious kids and very much (and sincerely) loves and cares for Tara’s kids as if they were his own. He is also a brilliant guy (not just smart) and very well liked amongst employees due to his very kind personality.

I understand exactly what he is going through and perfectly understand his anger and his sadness as they flow.

However, I was quite disturbed to read what some readers are posting about what they think Tara is thinking and how those comments spark the anger of other readers; the reason I find this disturbing is because Tara is a wonderful lady, who has two beautiful kids – as you can see on the pictures- and does not deserve to be portrayed as the selfish person who is capable of dumping her depressed husband on his own in the middle of a crisis; I saw them when they were just dating, they seemed so happy.

I remember when he told me he had proposed, I immediately jumped off my chair and went to Tara’s desk to see her ring, she looked at me and in a rather shy way, extended her hand to me to show me her ring with this huge, beautiful smile that brighten up her entire face. I was really excited for them!

When he came back to work everyone was stunned to know that they were no longer together, and as usual in any work place, gossip around the reasons for the split began to surface. To this day, he has not shared with anyone but me the reasons for the split or who did/said what to who; as a matter of fact, he normally addresses all inquiries with a polite, “it was my fault, but I prefer not to discuss it, if you don’t mind”; he does not share anything else, as he is not quite sure himself of the reason why he was asked to leave and he does not want anyone to vilify Tara.

I don’t know what Tara is going through or what she is thinking, but a divorce is always painful in both sides and, as in love as they once seemed to be and as highly regarded both of them are, I have to say that I honestly do not think she would be capable of such a despicable and selfish act as it is to kick her husband out just because she doesn’t want to deal with his depression for her own sake.

As emotional as these times are for all parties involved, I would challenge each of the readers to please refrain from making hateful accusations towards either one of them.

To both of you Tara and my dear friend ‘Some Guy” I wish you the best!

Thanks, I really appreciated you sending this to me and asking me to post it for my readers.


Nicholas Cardot said...

You won't hear any hateful words from me. I support you and I wish you the best. I hope that all of this can be worked out in your life and that you will be a stronger, better person for it in the end.

You make mistakes. You fall down. But you have to just keep getting back up! Keep it up!

Patience said...

Anyone with any insight at all knows that there are at least as many viewpoints of a situation as there are people involved. And none of them are exactly right and none exactly wrong! Divorce brings out the very worst in people, hate, anger, revenge. Ordinarily wonderful people will do or say extraordinarily awful things about the one they used to love. That's just the way it is. That's why divorce itself is so bad! No one really wins, but some lose more than others.

To "Some Guy's" friend, you seem to be just the kind of friend he needs right now. To "Some Guy", I wish you and your family peace.