Amazing Day Today

I had an absolutely amazing day today overall.

The scale and diet are looking good so far. I had another person today tell me that it looked like I was losing weight. This really validated to me that my efforts are producing results (beyond just seeing a few pounds come off on the scale).

At work, I'm teaching a team of new hires (17 people of which 8 are my direct reports). I've had 3 to 4 people that are not my direct reports ask if they could be transferred to me because they really liked me as a manager. That really validated for me that I'm doing well again at work.

I picked up the Quick Quarter (local classifieds paper) and have a few leads on potential houses for rent. I'm running them down and hoping something pans out in the Lafayette or Opelousas area (a little closer than Krotz Springs). If not though, its time for me to get established and I'll go ahead and rent the place in Krotz Springs next week.

I've again completed several items on my list today. Things are starting to shape up in my preparations for a BIG 2007.

I have two women from past relationships who have been pursuing me since they found out that Tara and I split up. In fact one of them is pursuing me quite aggressively. Even though I have no interest in pursuing a relationship with them at this time, I'm absolutely flattered that they have realized what they lost and are so determined to get me back.

Someone attempted to serve papers on me today at my parents' house. Yesterday, I mentioned to my female friend at work that I felt like it was the calm before the storm and that I felt things were about to get really ugly. I even wrote in my blog that I was getting ready for the next round. I thought I'd be really shaken when the papers did finally come, but instead I was relieved and even excited to a point. Because I wasn't there, they couldn't serve me. I was so anxious to get the papers, I called the Sheriff's department to see if I could appear to be served but was informed they weren't attempting service on me. I have to assume it was a private process server and will just have to wait until tomorrow.

Don't get me wrong, its not that I like what is going on, I'm just anxious for it to be over with. I'm ready to move on with my life and even though my wife says she wants nothing to do with me she is doing everything in her power to slow this down and drag it through court battles and force herself to face me over and over again when we could easily work out the details via e-mail or over the phone and execute an agreement and be done with it.

Finally, I just can't say how much I appreciate every one's support. I have so many friends at work that are so disappointed in the way things turned out between me and Tara and are showing so much sympathy and support towards me. I am getting more and more e-mails every day from people who passed by this blog who are praying and supporting me. And I really appreciate that. It has helped me so much in beginning down this path.

Well, I'm off to write for my other blogs. Thanks everyone for your support and kind wishes. They've been more helpful to me than you could ever imagine. Please keep the e-mails and comments coming (you can e-mail me by clicking profile). If you've linked to my blog, please e-mail me so that I can put up a link to your blog here.

Apartment Hunting

I'm going to make one last push this week to try to find an apartment or place to stay closer to Lafayette. If that doesn't pan out, I may ultimately be headed out towards the Krotz Springs area regardless of what anyone might thing about it. I have reason to believe that my wife will misinterpret it because she has already accused me once of driving by her place to spy on her (which I have not done). She based that on information I had about her spending time with her ex husband and being seen around town with him.

What she doesn't realize is that Krotz Springs is a small town and everyone talks. When I passed through town to pick up mail and gas up, I had more than one person eager to tell me what was going on. I don't even need to ask, people volunteer the information to me. Even the judge suggested that someone might have told me those things when Tara claimed my knowledge of them proved I was watching her. But it won't matter what I say, she will believe whatever she wants. And so I'm convinced that she'll believe the wrong things if I move out there. And if she wants to think I'm moving there just to annoy her, that will be her problem.

In either case, I'm going to make another push to find something more local to my job but I'm not real encouraged. Most apartments are telling me six months wait. Ever since Hurricane Katrina pushed hundreds of thousands of people out of New Orleans, there has been a housing shortage in Lafayette which is in South Central Louisiana.

I'm preparing myself for the next round of attacks from my wife as well. I was really hoping that our divorce could be peaceful. It's my fault though for starting off on the wrong path when we separated. She might have let things be peaceful if I had not so strongly reacted to her rejection of me and her immediate demands. But I've really calmed myself down and am determined not to react negatively when the next round of attacks hit. I wish that she could see that I don't want to fight and am trying my best not to react the way that I did when this mess started. I really wish she would just ask for whatever it is she wants instead of going about things this way, but I suppose that would just be too easy. So I'm preparing for the next wave of attacks.

I really did trust and believe Tara when she kept reminding me how easy she took it on her ex husband when they divorced. Why would I have expected her to be so bitter towards me. Tara claims that her ex husband, Chad William Stelly, cheated on her, I didn't do that. Tara claims Chad physically abused her, I didn't do that. Heck, law enforcement claims Chad solicited sex from a minor over the Internet and is prosecuting him for such, I haven't done that either. I did make plenty of mistakes in our marriage, in fact I blame myself almost entirely that our marriage broke down. But for whatever reason, I can't find an olive branch to offer to establish peace between us.

So I have to ready myself for a battle I don't want to fight.

Today, I'll be making calls to apartments again and I'm going to spend some time writing for my other blogs so I'm not sure what time my next update will be here. I again appreciate everyone who has been e-mailing me and encouraging me and appreciate everyone's interest in my story. Yesterday turned out to be another record day with 102 different people passing by in all. If you find this story interesting, please link to this blog from your site or blog.

Weird Day

Today was sort of a weird day for me.

First off, I have to say that this blog has had another record day. So far today, we've had 87 different people come by. I'm absolutely thrilled that so many people are taking an interest in my story. If you didn't know, when you stop by, you can comment on any of the articles by clicking the "comments" link beneath the article. You can also read the comments that have been left by other people when you click on that link.

Today, one of the managers at work commented that I looked like I was losing weight. This was the first time that someone noticed and mentioned it. It really made me feel good to know that it was slowly becoming visible. I don't really see where I've yet lost enough pounds for people to tell but I'm glad none the less that someone has noticed. That just encourages me even that much more.

What really made today weird was that I got asked on a date. It caught me completely off guard. I'm the sort of guy that really likes a woman who knows what she wants and isn't afraid to ask for it so I'm really intrigued that I was asked. The truth is, I don't really feel like dating at this point. But I need the distraction from everything else. I haven't decided yet if I'll go out, but it felt very good to have someone else ask me out.

I accomplished several items on my list and called around for apartments again today and again I had no luck in finding anything that had openings. I'm pretty close to giving up and just renting the house I found in Krotz Springs. I'm sure I'll be accused of moving there just to harass my wife or spy on her, but that's Tara's problem if she wants to flatter herself in that way.

Thanks

I continue to be amazed at how many people are stopping by and following my story. Yesterday was a record with over 70 different people stopping by. I installed a counter on the right side that shows how many unique or different people visit each day as well as how many total pages are viewed. I appreciate all of the e-mails and comments that you've been sending. It has really been encouraging to me.

I spent the weekend writing more than 50 new posts for a couple of new blogs that I'm working on. I will be starting 2 more blogs this week which means I'll be actively writing for 5 blogs in total, this 1 and 4 new ones. It's going to be quite a task keeping up with that many blogs, but I'm certain that I can do it.

Well, my kids are back to school today. I'm missing my step-children and wonder what they will do with their last week out of school (they don't go back until next week).

Dinner with my friend and her mom on New Year's Eve and the big lunch I had with my family didn't help my diet any, but it didn't set me back too far. I've started exercising to a Weight Watchers DVD I have so no doubt I'll be on track this week to continue losing weight. My belt is on its last notch (added to task list: get a new belt) and my pants are already getting loose so I'm already starting to feel the difference (it isn't quite visible yet). I couldn't be more excited.

This post will be short because I have some errands to run before I go to work. I have to pass by Krotz Springs and do a number of other things. I've already knocked a couple of items off my task list this morning and can't wait to see what this week holds.

Star Wars, Counselors and Apartments

Today is off to a slower start than yesterday, but I've already knocked a few items off of my list.
The one area I'm not having any success in is apartment hunting. Everything in Lafayette and surrounding areas is booked solid. Even places I'm trying further out like Opelousas either have waiting lists or no openings and don't maintain waiting lists. It is looking more and more like I may end up back in Krotz Springs. That's going to be a difficult thing, particularly since I'm sure it will be completely misinterpreted by my wife.

Because I'm having such a good week, I've decided not to schedule a counseling appointment this week (will be the first week I've not seen my counselor since my separation). I'm also not going to schedule time with Mort. At $300/hr, I just can't afford to keep doing this.

This leaves me with no outlet for my thoughts so I would expect activity at this blog will pick up in the upcoming days and weeks. I am also starting two additional blogs to detail other aspects of things I am going through. I think I would really prefer to share my thoughts with someone in person, but for the past couple of years, my wife was really the only person I spoke with. Since I don't have that anymore, I opt for these blogs as my outlet to express my emotions and vent now and then.

The only real difficulty I encountered this morning was when my oldest son asked me again when he could play Star Wars with his step-brother. I just told him I don't know. I really wish I had not told him that Tara Lynn Ray or Tara Ray or Tara Lynn Stelly or Tara Ray Stelly or Tara Stelly or Tara Lynn Scott or Tara Ray Scott or Tara Scott said it would be okay for him to play with his step-brother sometimes.

Missing The Step-Kids

Monday night really marked a turning point for me and I've had such an incredible week since then. I can't remember any time in my past where I've been more excited about what the future holds than I am right now. I really enjoyed last night and I've been invited to go shoot pool and have drinks with my former reps on Friday. I have also been invited to a no limit texas hold'em poker game on Saturday. I have been wanting to get involved in those games for a long time and have been unable to so I'm excited to finally have the chance.

So this week has been great so far, but I'm a little down today. I need to go put my step children's Christmas gifts from me into storage. I contemplated returning them for refunds but just can't bring myself to do it. I feel like I would be taking away from the children even though I know that I'm unlikely to be able to give the gifts to them anytime soon. I keep having these visions of having to wait until they are 18 and then giving them the gifts and letting them know that I have been waiting 10 years to give the gifts to them and to tell them that I miss them and love them.

I think about my step-children a lot. I wonder how they are enjoying their time out of school. I wonder what gifts they got for Christmas. I wonder if my youngest step child ever learned his ABC's. I wonder if they ever ask about me or my children.

I was remembering earlier in my relationship with Tara when I would be outside and the kids would tackle me and drag me to the ground and jump on me. Sometimes it would be six kids tackling me and dragging me to the ground and climbing on me and jumping on me. They would laugh and laugh and laugh and finally back off and let me get up just so they could do it again. I know a picture exists of the children piled on top of me but I cannot find it in the pictures I have. I would ask Tara or her family to send me a copy of that picture, but I doubt they'd even take my call at this point.

After I place the gifts in storage, I need to put my name on the waiting lists for more apartments. So far every place I've applied for in Lafayette and surrounding areas is telling me that there is a 3 to 6 month waiting list. I don't have a place to stay that long while I'm waiting. I've already had to spend a few nights in hotels. I found a house in Krotz Springs that I can rent and is ready for me to move into right away. I was trying to avoid that because I was afraid that Tara and her family would misinterpret my actions and think I was moving there to annoy her, but if something doesn't open up in Lafayette soon, I may not have a choice.

I'm worried however that this will just make it harder on my kids. How do I explain to them that we are just a few blocks from their step-brothers and their step-mother and their Mawmaw Rose and Pawpaw Danny but that they can't go see them. I am having a hard enough time explaining why they can't even call and talk to their step-brothers after they were told they could. I accept that Tara ss angry at me and I deserve that but I just cannot comprehend how or why people can just turn their backs on children. I'm doing a lot better now and my future looks better than it has in a long time, but getting my children to focus on good things ahead instead of on why they can't talk to or see their step-brothers has eluded me. Job keeps asking when he can mail his letter to Ms. Tara. I'm not sure what to tell him anymore.

So while I have a lot positive to do today and a lot to look forward to, I'm not as euphoric as I had been for the last two days. I guess once I make myself busy with tasks on my list and start pursuing my dreams again it'll keep my mind off of my step children and my day will go okay.

Merry Christmas Step-Children

Merry Christmas!

I sit here this morning with tears rolling down my face because my Christmas will be incomplete without being able to tell the two of you that I love you and miss you and being able to wish you a Merry Christmas.

I hope you realize that this is not your fault and it is not anything that you have done wrong. I love both of you and your mom very much. Daddy Scott was hurting in many ways and sick and did not realize it until it was too late, until Mom (Tara Scott or Tara Lynn Scott or Tara Ray Scott or Tara Stelly or Tara Lynn Stelly or Tara Ray Stelly or Tara Ray or Tara Lynn Ray) decided it was too late.

I'm not being allowed to speak to you or even see photos of your birthdays or how you are doing or even if you are okay. You have gifts under our tree that sit here unopened because I can't get them to you. So I have to settle for this, putting a tribute to you over the web. I doubt you'll ever see this, but if some day you do, know that I love you and miss you. The things in life worth having are worth fighting for and I will never stop missing you or loving you or fighting to let you know that.

Please know that my boys miss you and love you as well.

I hope you have a Merry Christmas!