Freedom

Well, it's official. I was served with a copy of my wife's petition for divorce today. When I saw the car pull into the drive way, I nearly ran to the door to great the officer and get the paperwork. He looked surprised. I take it they don't see a lot of people who are eager to see them.

I feel like a huge burden has been lifted from me. I look back now at our relationship and can see where there were signs everywhere that we wouldn't work out. Of course I was blindly in love back then. The counselor was right when she told me that she believed my relationship with Tara was really holding me back and pulling me down.

I'm mulling over the idea of going out tonight and celebrating my divorce to be. I have several friends that think I should though and am eager to take me out. I'm a bit tired already (its been a long week).

Today, I feel free!

Amazing Day Today

I had an absolutely amazing day today overall.

The scale and diet are looking good so far. I had another person today tell me that it looked like I was losing weight. This really validated to me that my efforts are producing results (beyond just seeing a few pounds come off on the scale).

At work, I'm teaching a team of new hires (17 people of which 8 are my direct reports). I've had 3 to 4 people that are not my direct reports ask if they could be transferred to me because they really liked me as a manager. That really validated for me that I'm doing well again at work.

I picked up the Quick Quarter (local classifieds paper) and have a few leads on potential houses for rent. I'm running them down and hoping something pans out in the Lafayette or Opelousas area (a little closer than Krotz Springs). If not though, its time for me to get established and I'll go ahead and rent the place in Krotz Springs next week.

I've again completed several items on my list today. Things are starting to shape up in my preparations for a BIG 2007.

I have two women from past relationships who have been pursuing me since they found out that Tara and I split up. In fact one of them is pursuing me quite aggressively. Even though I have no interest in pursuing a relationship with them at this time, I'm absolutely flattered that they have realized what they lost and are so determined to get me back.

Someone attempted to serve papers on me today at my parents' house. Yesterday, I mentioned to my female friend at work that I felt like it was the calm before the storm and that I felt things were about to get really ugly. I even wrote in my blog that I was getting ready for the next round. I thought I'd be really shaken when the papers did finally come, but instead I was relieved and even excited to a point. Because I wasn't there, they couldn't serve me. I was so anxious to get the papers, I called the Sheriff's department to see if I could appear to be served but was informed they weren't attempting service on me. I have to assume it was a private process server and will just have to wait until tomorrow.

Don't get me wrong, its not that I like what is going on, I'm just anxious for it to be over with. I'm ready to move on with my life and even though my wife says she wants nothing to do with me she is doing everything in her power to slow this down and drag it through court battles and force herself to face me over and over again when we could easily work out the details via e-mail or over the phone and execute an agreement and be done with it.

Finally, I just can't say how much I appreciate every one's support. I have so many friends at work that are so disappointed in the way things turned out between me and Tara and are showing so much sympathy and support towards me. I am getting more and more e-mails every day from people who passed by this blog who are praying and supporting me. And I really appreciate that. It has helped me so much in beginning down this path.

Well, I'm off to write for my other blogs. Thanks everyone for your support and kind wishes. They've been more helpful to me than you could ever imagine. Please keep the e-mails and comments coming (you can e-mail me by clicking profile). If you've linked to my blog, please e-mail me so that I can put up a link to your blog here.

Links

This morning's post will be brief.

Thanks again for the e-mails and comments you've been sending. I really appreciate the encouragement that I've been receiving.

Some of you have mentioned that you've linked to my blog. If you have, please drop me an e-mail and let me know the address of your blog. I will start a blog roll on the right in the upcoming day or so and I would like to return the favor.

Thanks again everyone. I'm off to write for my other blogs and will be apartment hunting again this afternoon.

Apartment Hunting

I'm going to make one last push this week to try to find an apartment or place to stay closer to Lafayette. If that doesn't pan out, I may ultimately be headed out towards the Krotz Springs area regardless of what anyone might thing about it. I have reason to believe that my wife will misinterpret it because she has already accused me once of driving by her place to spy on her (which I have not done). She based that on information I had about her spending time with her ex husband and being seen around town with him.

What she doesn't realize is that Krotz Springs is a small town and everyone talks. When I passed through town to pick up mail and gas up, I had more than one person eager to tell me what was going on. I don't even need to ask, people volunteer the information to me. Even the judge suggested that someone might have told me those things when Tara claimed my knowledge of them proved I was watching her. But it won't matter what I say, she will believe whatever she wants. And so I'm convinced that she'll believe the wrong things if I move out there. And if she wants to think I'm moving there just to annoy her, that will be her problem.

In either case, I'm going to make another push to find something more local to my job but I'm not real encouraged. Most apartments are telling me six months wait. Ever since Hurricane Katrina pushed hundreds of thousands of people out of New Orleans, there has been a housing shortage in Lafayette which is in South Central Louisiana.

I'm preparing myself for the next round of attacks from my wife as well. I was really hoping that our divorce could be peaceful. It's my fault though for starting off on the wrong path when we separated. She might have let things be peaceful if I had not so strongly reacted to her rejection of me and her immediate demands. But I've really calmed myself down and am determined not to react negatively when the next round of attacks hit. I wish that she could see that I don't want to fight and am trying my best not to react the way that I did when this mess started. I really wish she would just ask for whatever it is she wants instead of going about things this way, but I suppose that would just be too easy. So I'm preparing for the next wave of attacks.

I really did trust and believe Tara when she kept reminding me how easy she took it on her ex husband when they divorced. Why would I have expected her to be so bitter towards me. Tara claims that her ex husband, Chad William Stelly, cheated on her, I didn't do that. Tara claims Chad physically abused her, I didn't do that. Heck, law enforcement claims Chad solicited sex from a minor over the Internet and is prosecuting him for such, I haven't done that either. I did make plenty of mistakes in our marriage, in fact I blame myself almost entirely that our marriage broke down. But for whatever reason, I can't find an olive branch to offer to establish peace between us.

So I have to ready myself for a battle I don't want to fight.

Today, I'll be making calls to apartments again and I'm going to spend some time writing for my other blogs so I'm not sure what time my next update will be here. I again appreciate everyone who has been e-mailing me and encouraging me and appreciate everyone's interest in my story. Yesterday turned out to be another record day with 102 different people passing by in all. If you find this story interesting, please link to this blog from your site or blog.

Weird Day

Today was sort of a weird day for me.

First off, I have to say that this blog has had another record day. So far today, we've had 87 different people come by. I'm absolutely thrilled that so many people are taking an interest in my story. If you didn't know, when you stop by, you can comment on any of the articles by clicking the "comments" link beneath the article. You can also read the comments that have been left by other people when you click on that link.

Today, one of the managers at work commented that I looked like I was losing weight. This was the first time that someone noticed and mentioned it. It really made me feel good to know that it was slowly becoming visible. I don't really see where I've yet lost enough pounds for people to tell but I'm glad none the less that someone has noticed. That just encourages me even that much more.

What really made today weird was that I got asked on a date. It caught me completely off guard. I'm the sort of guy that really likes a woman who knows what she wants and isn't afraid to ask for it so I'm really intrigued that I was asked. The truth is, I don't really feel like dating at this point. But I need the distraction from everything else. I haven't decided yet if I'll go out, but it felt very good to have someone else ask me out.

I accomplished several items on my list and called around for apartments again today and again I had no luck in finding anything that had openings. I'm pretty close to giving up and just renting the house I found in Krotz Springs. I'm sure I'll be accused of moving there just to harass my wife or spy on her, but that's Tara's problem if she wants to flatter herself in that way.

Thanks

I continue to be amazed at how many people are stopping by and following my story. Yesterday was a record with over 70 different people stopping by. I installed a counter on the right side that shows how many unique or different people visit each day as well as how many total pages are viewed. I appreciate all of the e-mails and comments that you've been sending. It has really been encouraging to me.

I spent the weekend writing more than 50 new posts for a couple of new blogs that I'm working on. I will be starting 2 more blogs this week which means I'll be actively writing for 5 blogs in total, this 1 and 4 new ones. It's going to be quite a task keeping up with that many blogs, but I'm certain that I can do it.

Well, my kids are back to school today. I'm missing my step-children and wonder what they will do with their last week out of school (they don't go back until next week).

Dinner with my friend and her mom on New Year's Eve and the big lunch I had with my family didn't help my diet any, but it didn't set me back too far. I've started exercising to a Weight Watchers DVD I have so no doubt I'll be on track this week to continue losing weight. My belt is on its last notch (added to task list: get a new belt) and my pants are already getting loose so I'm already starting to feel the difference (it isn't quite visible yet). I couldn't be more excited.

This post will be short because I have some errands to run before I go to work. I have to pass by Krotz Springs and do a number of other things. I've already knocked a couple of items off my task list this morning and can't wait to see what this week holds.

New Year Resolutions 2007 - BIG!

This is the time of year when people create lists of New Year Resolutions. I suppose its obligatory that anyone who has a personal blog should post that list online. I've never been a big fan of New Year Resolutions. Usually these are just lists that people create so they can forget about them even faster than they created them.

I'm absolutely surprised as to how many people are visiting this site and following my story. Over the last few days, I've had over 50 unique people visit this blog each day. I could never have imagined that anyone would be so interested in my story and what I'm going through. I appreciate the comments and e-mails that you've been sending and encouraging me. To those of you going through similar things, I would encourage you to stay strong and not to lose hope.

Since I'm not a fan of New Year Resolutions, I debated not posting at all, but since you've taken the time to be interested in my life, I feel like I'd be letting you down if I didn't. Instead of New Year Resolutions, I'm going to call my list "New Year Dreams, Goals and Prayers." As many of you know, starting a week or two ago, I really refocused my life and started working towards my goals again. So I already have a head start. But I'll provide an abbreviated list here.

New Year Dreams, Goals and Prayers

Personal

• To continue to seek God and to strengthen my walk with Him. In the last few weeks, I've really been learning to rely on Him and wait on His timing instead of trying to make things happen when I want them to. This has been a difficult lesson for me and I pray that He will continue to strengthen me in this area.



• To be a better father to my children. Namely, I need to spend more time with them and more regularly.



• To continue to improve myself overall. I've grown so much in the past month through counseling and coaching and through books, seminars and programs. But the more I grow, the more I realize I have a lot more to change about myself. I'm so encouraged that others are seeing these changes in me already without me even having to tell them. I pray that I continue down this path and that my testimony continues to grow.

Career

• To be more organized and more effective as a manager at my employer which I just returned to. I used to have teams that really spoke highly of me and appreciated me as a manager and as their boss. I pray that this will be increased even more in the upcoming year.



• To refocus myself on my education. My Political Science, Pre-Law studies are half complete, but I still have a long ways to go. Additionally, I need to refocus myself on continuing to accumulate the credits necessary to qualify as a Certified Public Accountant once I finish my bachelors degree.



• To launch a new business this year. I have some ideas that I believe will be successful. In fact given 2 to 3 years, I'm confident I can outdo my last highly successful business. I pray that I'll find a new name in a reasonable amount of time or that the hostilities between my wife and I will pass so that I can safely utilize the business I formed in 2006 just before we separated.



• To continue learning Spanish and to be able to carry a conversation in Spanish by the end of the year. Last night (notice I didn't say yesterday night, that's an inside joke with my wife but I doubt she'll see this) I was around people speaking Spanish and I actually understood about 1/3rd of everything I heard. This surprised me and motivated me to continue my learning.

Health

• To continue losing weight and getting in shape. My goal is to reach 165 pounds. I have about 115 pounds to go which is an aggressive goal. It's time for me to go through a total body reformation for my health and appearance.

Recreation

• To enroll in and complete a motorcycle rider's course, to get my endorsement and to purchase a motorcycle for recreational riding.



• To return to Pensacola Beach this year and to go para sailing again. I also want to take the helicopter ride while I am out there which will mark my first time in a helicopter.



• To go for my first sky dive after I lose about 30 pounds. Then to continue jumping until I have accumulated enough jumps and training to go by myself. My goal is to accomplish this before the end of the year.



• To participate regularly in local no limit texas hold'em poker games and at least 3 Louisiana Casino based tournaments.



• To restart my private pilot training lessons and to complete my private pilot license this year.



• To schedule a cruise to be taken in 2007 or 2008. I've been wanting to go on a cruise for a long time but have not had the chance to. I want to be sure to take a Caribbean Cruise with several ports/stops and I want go swimming with dolphins.



• To enroll in and take Cajun Dancing lessons, something I've been wanting to do for some time.



• To begin planning for an international trip for 2008. Some possible choice locations are Costa Rica, Italy, London or any other of a wide variety of places I would like to see. My goal would be to continue this and to take an additional international vacation every other year.

Relationships

• To not react at all to my wife since I keep hurting her every time I react to her rejection of me. I want to achieve peace in our separation and ultimately our divorce so that neither one of us has to endure any more pain than we already have.



• I pray that I would regain my friend. I call this one a prayer because I know there is nothing I can do in my power to make this happen. I have acted in such a deplorable manner that she is justified in never wanting to talk to me again. I pray that God would release her from the bad memories and hurt and pain and that in His timing we would be able to share at least a basic friendship.

I have several other Dreams, Goals and Prayers that I will not publish here at this time. I know these things seem ambitious and probably a lot to accomplish, but for anyone who actually knows me, they know that once I resolve my mind to do something, the chances of me accomplishing it are actually quite high.

When my wife and I were dating, she used to tell me that I took on way too much. In my past, I've accomplished and done so much that when I tell the stories, many people didn't believe I could possibly be telling the truth, especially when I was younger (now that I'm older its not so hard to imagine that I could have had all of those experiences in life).

I'm expecting truly BIG things for 2007 and am glad that I've already started down the path a few weeks ago which proves to me that this is not a fleeting list of resolutions that will be forgotten before the end of the week.